how do you elaborate a completely hypothetical kind of relationship --knowing someone merely on a regular basis without any opportunity to have further conversation, without any condition to feel attracted one another, without a slightest thought on any potential intimacy whatsoever... 
even so, you couldn't help yourself wondering: why do i have these expectations? where do those expectations come from?

unaware of it, the two of you speak within signs. signs that are actually dying to be deciphered. signs that are impossible to be understood unless the both of you keep a certain distance. at first you are intrigued by the signs, as they gave you some purpose to keep wondering. later they became a familiar face, the curiosity began to vanish as well. afterwards, you have nothing left but to keep changing signs and live with those signs for the rest of your relationship. strangely... you both seem to love it that way. you love your expectations, now and then...

as for the result: you know almost nothing about that person. and vice versa.

i always knew that Shiina Ringo is equally known for her unusual choice of lyrics. not many japanese musicians would've combined both kanji and latin words in one song, and she's one amongst the few. a rare one.

somewhere 2665 meter(s) above sea level

do you have anything to do this weekend? any important things? appointments?

not sure. well... nothing in particular i guess. why?

i wanna take you somewhere.


*smirk* these lips are sealed.

surprise me then.


i'm taking you home...
perhaps, the most hurtful curse is living as a writer among illiterate people


anda menonton video musik; menikmati nada-nada, meresapi lirik, mencermati visual, lantas mendapati diri anda gemetar takjub oleh kesempurnaan komposisi tiap-tiap unsurnya


kendati masing-masing menghadirkan kisah yang berlainan, namun ketika ketiganya hadir dalam satu kesatuan berbentuk video musik, kisahnya barangkali akan jauh lebih pelik

dan sadar atau tidak, anda terusik.


hey june, don't make it bad
play your upright and make repertoires
if you fail to play it with all your heart
then you can sing and die for nothing

hey june, don't be frightened
you used to be strong and full of laughter
the moment you let those fingers dancing
then you must think to live for something

3rd of june just passed, i suddenly turned 25 years old, it all happened in a flash without warning, and i had to deal with it. just earlier this noon my aunt said "what have you achieved this far?" in which i instantly replied with "now that's a good question…" rather than the usual response "hahaha… *long pause* not much."

first of all, i decided to quit my job as an account executive at the advertising agency. holy christ… it was the worst mistake i've made of my 24. back then i had no idea being an account executive really cost me so much: i didn't have time to read a book, to write,  to watch movies and theatre performance, to play my upright piano, to hold a gig for my band, even to dress casually at work (i'm big on this). in the short run, i began a whole new career as a movie journalist while also freelancing as a contributor for movie, music, and theatre reviews. maybe the salary is not as high as before. but i prefer this way.

well, at least i finished my duty as a college student. it took me approximately six years to get a certain effing title put after my name, six effing years roaming cluelessly at every possible direction i had my interest into, six years having perpetual changes of peer group (though it taught me a lot about real friendship), six years coping with the mishaps here and there (death includes), and six years trying to perceive something called "self-reliance" (right… go figure).

another fun fact besides obtaining an academic degree is (perhaps) finding the right person. yeah folks… i finally met her. she's been my closest friend for more than five years. and the fool who currently writes this article had no idea whatsoever that she's been there all along, listening to his miserable move-on-venture yap and pathetic convos about his complicated ex everytime, everywhere. she is the woman he can trust. and hopefully, just hopefully, able to cure his timeless heart-broken wound. guess that makes him the lucky fool eh?

anyhow, here i am now. and i can say i have no regrets. turning 25 for me is the end of the first phase, afterwards there are only two more phases to go: 50 and 75. and it ends after that. in simple word: death. albeit looking at my physical state at the moment, i'm pretty sure i doubt myself to be able to live that long. in fact i will surprise myself for reaching 65.